Stranger Advice

Why is it that complete strangers feel the need to offer unsolicited advice?  When my daughter was a newborn (I was still on maternity leave) a complete stranger walked up to me in the grocery store and chastised me for not having socks on her.  She informed me that she would get extremely sick because I didn’t have her in socks and it would be all my fault.  As she walked away she mumbled about ‘these ignorant young mothers’.   The problem was it was the beginning of September in the South.  It was still eighty degrees outside and I was wearing shorts. 

Recently a stranger felt the need to tell me that I needed to take my daughter’s pacifier away or it would ruin her teeth.  I got so mad.  I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want my daughter to repeat anything I said, but I was seething.  This stranger didn’t know what my daughter had been through in the last year.  She also didn’t know that my daughter is struggling to adjust to a new home, town, everything; and it isn’t an easy transition. 

I already know how I will handle the pacifier or pappy as we call it, when the time comes.  A friend, and previous neighbor, had a similar issue with his second daughter. He had her leave her pappies for the Pappy Fairy; and the Pappy Fairy would leave a surprise in return.  My daughter loves ‘prises, so I think this would be the best way to approach this.  She has to make it her decision.  It can’t be us, the parents, who take it away.  She has to give it up or it will be traumatic on us and her.  We are almost to that point.  She only uses it at nap or bed time; but she just isn’t quite ready to give it up.  Maybe after Christmas we will attempt it. 

But my point is still that it isn’t someone else’s place to address an issue they know nothing about.  Not only is it an invasion of privacy, it is rude and impolite to tell someone else what is wrong with their life-unless they ask!  It seems as if children draw this kind of attention.  I am often out in town alone and never receive comments about how I am dressed, act, or anything else.  However, whenever I take my daughter everyone has a comment.  Most comments are about how cute she is, but some are still about how I am incorrectly parenting my child.  I know there are bad parents out there, look at Casey Anthony.  However, I don’t think missing socks in September or a pacifier at 2 is an example of bad parenting, just individual choices that have no effect on anyone except my family.   So I guess what I am saying is, unless you know me, my daughter, and our situation….Butt Out!